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So the private school we thought we were sending Rio to next year just told me that they made an error on her financial aid award, and the actually expect us to pay just under $10K a year, not the just under $5K I had thought.

I can’t see that as Right Action; even if we could somehow squeeze that money out of the stone that is our budget. The idea of doing it every year for ten years just does not feel sustainable. We’d have to give up things that are not luxuries to do it. Stuff like ever seeing Martin’s family in Argentina again, any other activities she wanted to do ever (like music or gymnastics), me being able to stay home these next few years with the baby. It just does not feel right.

I could see throwing every resource we had into giving her the best possible education if she were going into high school, but she’s four years old. The best possible education is the one that teachers her to love play, her body, her mind and her intuition, and she gets that at home for free (aka – the annual salary I am not earning to be home giving it to her). She does not particularly want to go to school, except to socialize. I think I can find ways for her to socialize for less than 10K a year.

I’m not, as I’ve said before, worried about her academically – she can read a little, write a little and do some basic math, and no one has ever tried to teach her a damn thing. I suspect it will be a bunch of years until she needs to be learning something I can’t teach her or she can’t pick up herself.

I think we’ll try next year at home, hopefully with enough friends and resources that she won’t go crazy and neither will I. If that goes well we can do it again, if not I can revisit our school options then.

Rio came home right after I’d had this phone call today, and she noticed I looked sad. I told her that something I had expected wasn’t going to happen, but that I still had a lot of good choices to be happy about, and I think that pretty much sums up where I’m at with it. That and some convoluted feelings about hubris and pretensions of grandeur and worrying that I will get sucked into homeschooling and never have my own career…

I still feel a little sad. I may spend the deposit money for the school on extravagant toys for Rio and me.

Serena has begun to experiment with kissing, and is giving new meaning to the term “sucking face”, as she seems to think kissing is about puckering up, making eye contact, then diving toward my face and latching on to my nose.

Driving home from preschool today, Rio and I fight about whether or not she can ride in the booster seat. I tell her that we’ll talk to her doctor at her fourth birthday, but that right now she is not big enough to safely ride in a booster.

Rio: “It’s safer than my car seat though, Mama. Remember when you forgot to buckle my car seat and I slipped out and it was not safe? That was not safe. Daddy let me ride in the booster and that did not happen. I did not slip!”

Me: “Yeah. That was over a year ago. I’m surprised you remember. And I think when you grow up you will be a lawyer. You can support me when I’m a failed novelist.”

Rio, bursting into tears: “NO! No! Don’t say that Mama! That’s not nice! Lawyer is not a nice word!”

Rio has been accepted (the shock of absolutely no one) to Fayerweather School in Cambridge. This school was the most like her current preschool of all the ones we looked at, and also reminded me a lot of Sarah Lawrence, in good ways.

They offered us about a 70% tuition grant, bringing the total we’d pay just under that magic $5K.

I am still going to sample the Kool-Aid at SVS later this week, but Fayerweather is looking pretty good to me.

Why do I breastfeed? Too lazy for bottles.

Cosleep? Too lazy to put the baby in a crib.

Babywearing? Too lazy to carry a stroller around, keep it clean, set t up and break it down, etc…Why is my baby napping in a sling on my chest? Too lazy to take her upstairs and put her to bed.

Why do I cloth diaper? Too lazy/broke to buy diapers every week.

Today, I am SERIOUSLY considering homeschooling on the grounds that I may well be too lazy to take my kid to school every day and pick her up again a few hours later.

(this came out of a conversation with another mom about how we do all these things that look like work because we can’t be bothered with modern “conveniences” that actually take more time/money)

I thought I’d try practicing this EC thing we keep hearing about before I invest in a fresh set of expensive diapers.

So I bought a book and a little red Baby Bjorn potty. I have niether read the book nor tried the baby potty. But for the past three days I’ve been sitting Serena on the adult potty whenever I feel like it and making a little shush-shush sound. And today she peed. And giggled and flapped her feet like she knew she’d done the potty trick we were all so excited about.

So there to my inner skeptic. I guess this thing can work. No idea if she or I will remain interested in it, but it does seem to work.

Stuffwhitepeoplelike got me again

He knows all my dirty little secrets.

Flickr Photos

Holding hands

Emerson graduation smiles

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More Photos

A little bird told me…

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