Rio climbs on my lap, and I can’t help but notice she does not smell as sweet as, well, anything sweet. Being her mom, I gently inquire about her personal hygeine.

“You smell kind of stinky. Do you need a bath?”

“NO. It’s the dirt on my feet. See, my sister walks around the house, and sometimes she farts, and then she leaves the flames of her farts on the floor. And then I step in them, and their stinkiness gets on my feet. And then it moves up my feet, all over my whole body. Except for my eyes. My eyes do not get stinky.”

“I see.”

“Or….” long pause “maybe my butt is stinking.”