Dear Concerned Citizens,
Please do not shout insults or parenting advice at me as I am biking past your car on a city street with my kids in tow. Your fear for my children’s safety is truly touching. However, if you pause for a moment, you may realize that taking your own attention away from the vehicle you are driving to startle, alarm and anger the rider of the bicycle does not make my kids safer.
In fact, were you to cause an accident with this behavior, you can be fairly sure I would not be blaming myself for the harm that befell my babies. I would blame you, and your self-righteous idiocy.
Perhaps next time, instead of screaming, “You’re going to die!” or “That is so dangerous!!!” out your car window, you might want to focus on taking special care that you’d don’t became the agent of our apparently inevitable destruction.
A very good way to do this is to get on a bike yourself. If more people tried that, my kids and I would be a lot safer on the roads.
Love,
Your friendly neighborhood cyclist
ChildWild 
15 comments
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April 29, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Jane
or you could stop putting your kids in risky positions just to make a point.
May 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm
KPod
Never mind the riskiness or not, I doubt they are riding bicycles “just to make a point.” Are you driving a car “just to make a point” that you have the means to kill people?
June 4, 2009 at 9:06 am
Go play in traffic: Bicycle Safety on Busy Roads « ChildWild
[…] A friend just posted a link to a great site about bicycle safety. I can’t recommend strongly enough giving this clear, simple page a read. Especially if, like me, you have a crazy habit of putting your kids in harms way, er, riding your bike with your kids. […]
June 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Rich Wilson
I came here via your comment on Freerange- and now I’m almost sorry I did. Now that I’ve read Jane’s comment, I can’t stop fuming. That’s about the most ignorant thing I’ve read in a long time.
Why is it that people are so willing to assume that other people don’t love their kids and are complete morons? You know, it’s just possible that the person you’re criticizing over their parenting skills is actually a competent and loving parent.
June 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Sierra
I’m glad you came! The world needs more Free Range parents and kids. I can’t answer your question about what other people assume, but I know there’s a huge range of good parenting out there. And clearly, I think my kids are pretty awesome, so I must be doing something right.
June 10, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Jen
I’m also from over at Free Range Kids and wanted to lend you some support. We have a bike trailer for Gabe as we were told it’s safer for him than if he was in one of the bike seats behind my huband while he’s riding. We don’t take him out often but when we do we’re very very careful. Driving defensively AND behaving like a vehicle on the road should seems like the best course of action.
June 10, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Sierra
thanks. we just got into a HUGE debate about this on my local moms list this week, which seems to have been kicked off by someone saying that she chose a bike seat for her kid because trailers seem so dangerous – I think it’s a common misconception, but the (admittedly slim) available data suggests that trailers are the way to go if safety is your main concern.
that said, of course the really key thing is to ride safely. no seat or trailer will keep your kid safe in a full-speed, direct-impact with a car. I posted more recently – here: http://childwild.com/2009/06/04/go-play-in-traffic-bicycle-safety-on-busy-roads/ – about safe riding practices. some interesting new information I’ve found since then is that as the percentage of people riding bikes in a given population goes up, the liklihood of accidents between bikes and cars goes down. So we make the streets safer for everyone when we get out there on our bikes!
June 10, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Rich Wilson
I bought my Burley Solo used from someone who commuted 10 miles with it 5 days a week. It had a little damage on one side, and the mom said “ya, that’s where they (dad and son) took a corner too fast and it went over on its side. Son thought it was a blast.”
I have no research to prove it, but I do have 35 years of biking experience. I firmly believe trailers are much safer than seats. And pretty soon I’ll put him on the tag-along.
I’m curious if the ‘helmet’ issue came up. My son wears his helmet in the trailer, but I consider it a habit, not a real safety thing. And nothing bugs me more than watching helmeted kids riding with helmetless parents. Whatever you think about helmets, if they’re good for kids, they’re good for adults. I don’t think most adults are any better bike handlers than most kids. And adults have farther to fall.
June 10, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Sierra
We bought our Burley D’Lite used too, and love it. My older daughter also has a trail-a-bike (which I think is the brand name as well as a good descriptor of the thing? it was a gift). She LOVES her trail-a-bike, but I prefer the trailer because the trail-a-bike throws my center of balance off. My husband, on the other hand, prefers the trail-a-bike, and will be using it to commute to school with her next year when she starts kindergarten at the lab school at his university.
The helmet issue did come up but I skimmed those posts without really reading them. I was run over by a car in a freak accident a few years ago, one of those rare moments where having a properly fitted bike helmet on actually did save my life – the helmet cracked in half instead of my skull. I know the data on helmets is totally mixed, but after that I got religion about wearing them, and putting them on people I love – of all ages.
June 10, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Nicola
Ah, people like Jane just make me wish you could zap them from the sky each time they pass judgment on others.
I can’t say I was comfortable enough to take my kids in a trailer, but I never would yell at someone for doing so with their kids. The audacity some people have just makes you wonder where THEIR parents were when they needed to be taught manners.
June 11, 2009 at 12:40 am
Casey
Hahaha, when I go for a bike ride, I just leave my kids in the car. Just kidding (referring to a FRK post). I hope to ride my bike with my daughter often…just as I’d like to canoe with her, and teach her to climb cliffs (and sometimes jump off). I will make sure she feels comfortable with the risks she takes and that she knows her limits, but I hope to avoid being constantly afraid for her safety. It’s scary to think about what the world could look like in even 10 years if nobody will even ride a bike. I am thankful though to live in a city with a trail for walking/biking/rollerblading…near the river. There are not many people on bikes on the roads her (in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada) and we have some of the most terrible drivers, so I like to stick to the paved trails.
June 11, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Stephanie
Came here via Free Range Kids too. Can’t believe that first comment.
I love your letter to Concerned Citizens. People do need to learn that they don’t need to criticize everyone else’s parenting skills.
June 12, 2009 at 6:53 am
Julia Magnusson
I asked my pediatrician about all of this (we just got a trailer). He said, “Ultimately, you’re modeling good, healthy, active behavior by biking with your kids [whether in trailer or seat].” [That’s an approximate quote, BTW.] He said as long as the parent is alert and bikes defensively, it should be OK.
June 12, 2009 at 9:48 am
Sierra
That is a good summation of what our doctor said as well, and the bike mechanics I talked with.
June 15, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Dear Driver Passing My Bicycle: Shut Up | Strollerderby
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